


Be Our Valentine

by Azure_Lynx



Series: A Very Rowdy Holidays [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Bri writes yet another out of season Valentine's fic for yet another fandom, First Kiss, Martin buys lingerie, Multi, Some sweet ot5 feels, The Rowdies raid Walmart, Valentine's Day, god i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 16:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12172545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azure_Lynx/pseuds/Azure_Lynx
Summary: When you've been on the run for fifteen years, you're not always up to date on normal human holidays. But that doesn't mean they don't want to give the girl you love the best Valentine's day ever.Just as soon as Vogel figures out exactly what Valentine's is.





	Be Our Valentine

Until this moment, February fourteenth of Vogel’s twenty-sixth year, he had not known what Valentine’s Day was. His concept of time was shaky at best, and sometimes things were very red and full of hearts in stores they smashed, but that had never really meant anything to him. 

Only this time he had bothered to ask, why all the hearts? And Amanda had told him that it was because there was a _holiday_ for telling people you loved them. It seemed to him you should do this every day, but if there was a special day, that must mean it was extra important!

When she was in another aisle, he pulled the guys in close for a huddle. Amanda had made them leave the bats and stuff in the van because she “didn’t want to scare the fuck out of her pharmacist,” and then had abandoned them to awkwardly mill about the tiny Walmart while she picked up her birth control prescription.

“Guys. We gotta do something cool for ‘Manda for Valentine’s day!” Though he spoke in a hushed tone, it was still kind of loud, but he was doing his best. He wanted to make it a good surprise. “Like - like - get her stuff she likes. And chocolate and flowers. She said Valentine’s day was about flowers ‘n shit.”

Gripps nodded thoughtfully. “I’m in,” he agreed, head already buzzing with ideas. Cross grinned and Martin nodded as well.

“But we gotta make it a secret!” he whispered, making them all swear to it. Once he was satisfied with their cooperation, they all split off to make preparations. 

Gripps made a bee-line for the cosmetics aisle. Amanda had a favorite drugstore brand of eyeliner, and she’d talked about trying out some new lipstick shades. Plus, the two of them were always painting each others’ nails. And perhaps a face mask or two? And some good smelling shampoo and body wash and lotion, not that they necessarily cleaned themselves all that much. But he’d be happy to play with Amanda’s hair and massage the shampoo into her scalp.

He hummed happily and fidgeted with his necklace. He’d known about Valentine’s Day before, but he’d never actually had a reason to celebrate. But now, having Amanda, there was a reason to do something elaborate and special. To show their appreciation for their newest pack member. 

She’d made life so much more fun. She brought a brightness to their group that hadn’t really been there before. They’d survived before, but now waking up was always a treat, without fail. She deserved their appreciation and adoration. And a healthy amount of pampering, he decided, pulling cosmetics off the shelf. After all, it was Valentine’s Day.

Cross, meanwhile, was browsing the limited supply of alcohol. He wished they could actually go to a liquor store and get something of high quality - it was a special occasion, after all, and their girl deserved the finest - but he would have to make due with the Walmart selection. 

He’d go for bottles, then. Bottles were classy, and out of the ordinary. He remembered the last time they had a bottle of booze, how Amanda’s lips closed so delicately around the mouth of the bottle, but she took a swig and swung it about and laughed and shouted with them all the same. 

Cross sighed happily. She really was something. Life had been better since she showed up - more complete, somehow. Like she’d been their missing piece. 

There was cookie dough beer on the bottom shelf. It reminded him of the conversation they’d been having last week, about how she had _loved_ to eat the raw cookies, and her Aunt had always had to swat her to make sure there were cookies left for the oven. The boys had tasted a melancholy in with the happiness, but they hadn’t pressed. 

He grabbed the six pack off the shelf, and a six pack of apple beer too. Certainly one of those would work. 

Vogel, to his merit, was running around the candy aisle, taking everything that looked remotely good. He had grabbed five heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, but also four sleeves of starburst, two bags of skittles, a few hershey bars, and a pack of ice breakers. She deserved all the candy. All of it.

_“Sweets for the sweetest,”_ he would say when he presented them to her. Or something equally dorky and cute and guaranteed to get a smile. God, he loved her smile. It lit him up like sticking his finger in a light socket, but extra good. Made him feel tingly all over and he never ever wanted it to stop. 

He never ever wanted her to stop. 

He grabbed a bag of Hershey kisses. There was another good pun. He hoped he could get a kiss today. Or a lot of kisses. She’d never actually kissed any of them, though they’d also never asked. He wanted to ask. But he didn’t know if that was acceptable. Martin was the alpha; if anyone should initiate, it was him. Or Amanda could kiss whoever she wanted. Preferably all of them, multiple times, in multiple places, on multiple days.

Starting today. 

Martin had many ideas. Flowers were a good start. Plus clothes. He wondered if he could play off a lingerie purchase casually, or if she would be upset with him. Think he was assuming things.

Just because he bought it didn’t mean he had to see it. But he also wouldn’t be upset if he did. Besides, she needed underwear. Underwear was an essential. It didn’t necessarily have to be a thing if she didn’t want to have a thing. 

He considered all this while standing in front of the rack of panties. He failed to notice the soccer mom giving him a dirty look, not that he would’ve cared.

Eventually, he decided he would take the risk, and grabbed several pairs. Four were lace - one black, one dark blue, one purple, one pink. One had tiny slices of pizza on a green background, one was covered in Polar Bears, and one said “Fuck you” across the ass. Of all of them, he felt compelled to buy her that one. It just screamed “Drummer girl.” 

He grabbed a comfy looking pajama top, a few cute bralettes, and a couple t-shirts he thought she’d like, then wandered around, looking for flowers. On his way, he found some delicious-smelling strawberries that he picked up because they reminded him of her. 

It was hard to find flowers, because they were clearly only there for Valentine’s day, but he found a display covered in roses and picked the whole lot of them. He wasn’t even sure how many there were, but their girl deserved the best. 

The four of them reconvened at the cash register and threw everything onto the belt, then glared menacingly while the cashier rang it all up. Then, taking their bags, with one last snarl, they left. The shopkeep, with a hundred-odd dollar tab left unpaid, gazed helplessly after them. This would be a tough one to explain. 

Vogel was in charge of scattering rose petals, which he did with wild abandon, even getting a few on the pavement. Cross had read in novels that it was considered romantic, so they went for it, sacrificing a couple bouquets to strew them across the already messy back seat. Then Gripps got ambitious and started clearing the empty bottles and cans off the floor, making it a little cleaner and the rose petals more obvious. 

Martin lit a cigarette and observed as his packmates made good work, setting up for something like luxury. It was good for them to have this, a reason to celebrate. A reason to remind Drummer Girl how much she meant to them. The only wrapping they had was the Walmart bags, and the van still smelled like stale beer and weed and cigarette smoke, but it was filled with roses and appreciative Rowdies. 

They all desperately hoped she’d like it. 

Amanda came out of the store with a plastic bag filled with a six-month supply of pills. The boys hoped she wouldn’t be mad that they’d left early, but she’d never been mad at them before. Besides, they had a good surprise. 

Vogel started fidgeting nervously and Gripps handed him a piece of cord, which he promptly turned into a bunch of elaborate tangles. Amanda spotted them standing by the van where they’d left it and made her way over, eyes lighting up.

“Way to abandon me guys.” She punched Cross in the shoulder, grinning, and he grinned right on back. “I know Walmart runs are boring. Thanks for coming with me, guys.” 

“‘F course,” Martin said around the cigarette. “Weren’t nothin’.” 

Vogel bounced on his toes, letting the string drop to the side. “We had loads of fun!” He closed his mouth sharply in case he give anything away. All of them stared at her expectantly.

She raised her eyebrows at them. “Ooookay.” She patted Vogel on the chest. “Glad to hear it, dude. This should tide me over for a while.” She climbed in the side doors and the others clambered in after her, eager to see her reaction.

Her eyes widened. “What the fuck?” She whipped around to face them. “What the hell is this?”

Confusion was radiating off of her, cold and a little sweet like ice cream. She was happy, but utterly bewildered. 

“Happy Valentine’s day!” Vogel shouted excitedly. “We wanted to do something nice for ya, cuz you said it was a holiday about love.”

She got choked up, then, and a couple tears started trickling down her face. “Oh my god, guys.” She wiped at them. “That’s so...nice.” She picked up a couple bags, starting with the six packs. “Damn, Cross. Good choices. Cookie dough.” She smiled. “You remembered.”

He preened, pleased, and they resolved to save the booze for revelling later tonight. So too with the strawberries. Then she went through the bag of cosmetics and pampering, and she grinned, pulling out a teal eyeshadow. “Gripps, this one’s going on you sometime. It’ll look so good with your skin tone.” He grinned and she laughed, pawing through the bag. “Holy fuck, dude, I’m gonna smell so good.”

Then came the candy. There was so much candy. Vogel watched anxiously as she picked through it, and she looked at him, seeing his worry. He cursed silently. He didn’t seem all that cool right now, he bet. 

“Good choices,” she reassured him. “The kisses were a cute touch. And I fuckin’ love skittles, dude.” Vogel also loved skittles. He hoped she’d share some of the candy. But it was her choice.

Finally, she came to the bag of clothes. Martin rarely got nervous, but he didn’t exactly know what he’d do if she got upset. He was the alpha, but she was his drummer girl. It was a delicate balance to strike. 

He had nothing to worry about. Her eyes grew wide as she pulled out the “fuck you” panties first, and hot salty excitement rolled off her. Kind of like pretzels. 

“Dude, these are fucking sick!” She turned to Martin, continuing to pick through the clothes. “Oh my god. Amazing.” She held up the bralette. “It’s got tiny flowers embroidered!”

She looked around at each of her boys. She was happy. They could sense that. “I just - I never expected - No one’s ever done anything like this for me before.” She grinned, and they grinned back, and then all of a sudden she lunged into Gripps’ lap and was kissing him. 

Vogel cheered in delight. A kiss! A kiss! 

Gripps held her as gently as he could, because even though she wasn’t breakable and he knew that, he still liked to be soft with her. He didn’t get to be soft very often. Her fingers toyed with the hem of his beanie and they nuzzled noses when she pulled away. 

Cross was next, and he gripped her waist roughly. His mustache tickled her a little and she giggled in the kiss; playfully, he bit her bottom lip, and she bit his back. Vogel watched, excited and impatient for his own kiss. 

When she settled into his lap, he was ready. He kissed her hungrily, finally doing what he’d been waiting to do for months. Vogel liked kisses a lot, possible more than he liked smashing things, and Amanda’s mouth was a very soft and wet and nice. Mimicking Cross, he bit her lip and she laughed. Too soon, she pulled away, but he knew there would be more.

And the it was Martin’s turn, and she pressed herself so close and he brought her in closer. His hands tangled in her soft hair and he breathed her all in, a sense of peace in his soul. Their kiss was deep, and intense, and rough, and he wanted to show her he was alpha but she put up a good fight. 

When she pulled away, she looked dazed, and she fell back heavily onto the floor. Heaving out a sigh, she laid on the floor amidst the rose petals. “Whoa.” She laughed a little and took Martin’s forgotten cigarette from the bench beside him, taking a drag. “You guys are the _best_. Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Drummer Girl.” They all murmured in assent.

Amanda couldn’t _wait_ to tell them about the Fourth of July.

**Author's Note:**

> Why do all my good Valentine's day fics come to mind so weirdly out of season? I certainly have no idea. But I wanted to write something for this ship, and this was the fic that came to mind. I hope you all enjoy! Comments are always appreciated; I love to know what you think.


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